Why Matt Iseman Quit Being a Doctor
I Quit My Job As A Doctor To Become A "Heartbreak Coach"
I grew up in India with big plans to run away and become a monk as soon as I turned 18. Instead, I came to the US and bought into the American Dream. I graduated from medical school and worked my way up to chief anesthesiologist at Bakersfield Heart Hospital. I loved my career, but I worked a lot. For a while, I thought it was worth it: Every three or four years, I'd upgrade to a bigger house and buy more expensive cars. And then, in 2010, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer.
A post-surgical complication nearly cost me my life, and as I recovered I realized I needed to reclaim my spirituality. I no longer wanted to live such a shallow, lavish lifestyle. Within a year I quit my job, sold my expensive cars, replaced them with a Camry hybrid, and moved my family to a smaller, less expensive home.
MORE:10 Little Things Connected Couples Do
From physical to emotional healing
As an anesthesiologist I was trained to attend to the physical body, but after my near-death experience I decided to turn my attention to helping people heal on a spiritual level. I signed up for meditation training at the Chopra Center and became a certified meditation teacher. (Here are 8 simple meditations that can change your life.)
Incorporate meditation into your daily life with these tips:
Next, I reached out to John Gray, relationship coach and author of the bestselling . I had read the book a long time ago, and while I knew intuitively that men and women react differently to different situations, his approach really spoke to me. John ended up becoming my mentor—I took a number of his online and in-person classes—and I earned certification in his coaching program.
Along the way, I learned a lot about relationships and how to move on from the trauma of a breakup, as that makes up a large part of John's teachings. Little did I know that I was about to confront that same type of trauma in my own life. My world came crashing down on June 6, 2019, when my wife announced she no longer loved me and had developed feelings for my best friend.
(The 21-day plan inis the life-changing reset every 40+ woman needs!)
We filed for divorce, and I was devastated. As a doctor I'd heard about a condition called broken heart syndrome; people can actually die from it. I wondered if that was happening to me, because I developed chest pains and palpitations, but I went for some tests and I was physically OK. It was simply the pain of losing my wife. (Going through a divorce is tough. You need to feel these 5 crappy things in order to get over it.)
I ended up going through the same stages of grief that most people navigate when someone dies: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance. As I was working through these stages, I decided to take a hard look at myself, and I didn't like what I saw. I realized I had been very selfish and had taken my wife for granted.
While some relationships are truly rotten and can't be saved, this turned out to not be the case for my wife and me. We were actually in the lawyer’s office getting ready to sign the divorce papers—and having what I believed would be our last talk as a married couple—when I asked her what she wanted from our relationship that she wasn’t getting. She said, “Respect, care, and love.” She didn't ask for love first, though of course I loved her deeply. We talked and agreed to give our marriage another chance for six months.
I immediately decided to follow the advice of my mentors and stopped harping on what had gone wrong in the past; instead, I concentrated on looking forward as a couple: What do we really want, and how do we obtain that? That shift made all the difference, and I was able to save my marriage.
MORE: Stress Isn't The Reason Your Marriage Is Unhappy (But How You Handle It May Be)
Spreading the love
During my meditation training, I had learned that growth can come out of trauma. After seeing that first-hand, I realized I was more than ready to put my certifications and life experience into practice by helping others who were going through similar pain.
In January 2019, I officially became a "heartbreak coach." Basically, I consider myself an expert at helping people mend relationships that are faltering or move on from a relationship that wasn't worth saving. Many people find me through my website, TheHeartbreakDoctor.com, and I do a lot of my counseling work via Skype since my clients live all over.
People often ask how my process differs from traditional therapy, and it's true that there are some similarities. But I believe that traditional therapy involves a lot of time looking backward, and heartbreak coaching is more forward-looking. Another way coaching differs from therapy is that you always have an end goal in mind. I usually meet with clients, virtually, once a week for about three months, because it takes about 40 days to change habits and form new connections.
I think part of the reason I've been successful in this field is that I know what heartbreak feels like, and while some therapists choose to keep their personal life hidden from clients, I opt to share it.
Video: Why I 'Quit' My Job as a Doctor
How to Improve Selling Skills Using the Sales Game
19Strange Things That Can Only Happen inIndia
Ab Fab’s Patsy and Edina star in advertising campaign
Is Dandelion Coffee the Next Big HealthCraze
How to Make Kool Aid
Ask Dr. Stork: How Can I Recover Faster From Surgery
Lanaphilic With Urea Reviews
DIY Heart-Shaped Rainbow Sprinkle Bath Bombs
Menacing Mercury Levels Found in Some Seafood
How to Avoid Traffic Around Washington, D.C