Secrets of good relations with children
Awakening a child
No need to wake the child, he may feel a sense of dislike for the mother, who always brakes him, pulling off the blanket. He can startle in advance when she enters the room: "Get up, you'll be late." Much better to teach him how to use the alarm clock. It is better to buy an alarm clock and, presenting it, somehow beat the situation: "This alarm clock will only be yours, it will help you get up on time and always have time."
If a child gets up with difficulty, do not need to tease him with a "sluggish" person, do not enter into an argument about the "last minute". You can resolve the issue differently: put the hand five minutes earlier: "Yes, I understand, for some reason I don’t want to get up today. Lie down for another five minutes."
These words create an atmosphere of warmth and goodness, as opposed to screams.
You can turn on the radio.When a child is rushed in the morning, he often makes it still slower. This is his natural reaction, his powerful weapon in the fight against a schedule that does not suit him.
No need to rush again, it is better to tell the exact time and indicate when he should finish what he is doing: "In 10 minutes you need to go to school." "Already 7 hours, after 30 minutes we sit at the table."
Going to school
If the child forgot to put in the bag a textbook, breakfast, glasses; it is better to stretch them in silence than to indulge in intense reasoning about his forgetfulness and irresponsibility.
"Here are your glasses," is better than "Do I really live to see the time when you learn to put glasses on yourself."
Do not scold or read the notations before the school. In parting, it is better to say: "Let everything be fine today," than "Look, behave yourself, do not indulge." It is more pleasant for the child to hear the confidential phrase: "See you at two o'clock" than "Don't go anywhere after school, go home right now."
Return from school
Do not ask questions to which children give the usual answers.
- How are things at school? - Fine. - What did you do today? - And nothing. What did you get? Etc.
Recall yourself how sometimes this issue was annoying, especially when the grades did not match the expectations of the parents (“they need my grades, not me”). Observe the child, what emotions are "written" on his face. ("The day was difficult? You probably barely waited for the end. Are you glad you came home?").
"Dad has come."Let him rest, read newspapers, do not need to bring down all the complaints and requests. Let when in the evening, at dinner, the whole family in the collection, you can talk, but for a meal it is better to have a good, heart-to-heart shower. This brings the family together.
It's time to sleep
Preschoolers and younger students are better placed to sleep by their parents (mother and father). If you confidentially talk with him at bedtime, listen carefully, calm down fears, show that you understand the child, then he will learn to open the soul and free himself from fears, anxiety, and calmly sleep.
Do not enter into an argument if the child reports that he forgot to wash and drink.
A few short rules
- Show your child that he is loved for who he is, and not his achievements.
- You can never (even in hearts) tell a child that he is worse than others.
- It should be possible to honestly and patiently answer any questions the child.
- Try to find time every day to be alone with your child.
- Teach your child to freely and naturally communicate not only with their peers, but also with adults.
- Do not hesitate to emphasize that you are proud of him.
- Be honest in assessing your feelings for the child.
- Always tell the child the truth, even when it is unprofitable to you.
- Evaluate only the actions, not the child himself.
- Do not succeed by force. Coercion is the worst form of moral education. Coercion in the family creates an atmosphere of destruction of the child’s personality.
- Recognize the rights of the child for mistakes.
- Think of a baby bank of happy memories.
- The child treats himself as adults treat him.
- In general, at least sometimes put yourself in the place of your child, and then it will be clearer how to behave with him.
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